I'm Flummoxed I

Today I introduce America's New Favorite Running Blog Event, "I'm Flummoxed!" In this series, I will post, usually briefly but occasionally in long-wind format, an issue or question presently confusing, perplexing, bemusing, baffling, or bothering me and seek the assistance of my friends and vague acquaintances to find an answer to this issue.

(Also, on this particular occasion, this will get me out of the spot immediately above Dallas' Seldom Updated Blog on the Businessman's "Blogs I Like," whereby convincing me that I'm an active and valuable blogerator.)

So, today's flummoxment: Why do middle-aged women (and usually overweight ones at that) find it necessary or reasonable to wear shirts with current day children's characters on them?

The other day I went to the bank and walked past a larger woman of probably 55 years or so waddling her way along the sidewalk wearing a black sweatshirt with a 12-inch or so furry Elmo on it, and, just in case someone misses the quasi-iconic character, "ELMO" in text. Is she really a big Elmo fanatic? Does she own Elmo season tickets?

(A fine line: my mother kind of does this, but it doesn't count as Bad American Behavior because the character she supports is Snoopy, of whom she has been a fan for a very, very long time. Garfield, Mickey Mouse, etc. would then by extension also be a permitted character, the principle being that if the character was around when the individual was a child, you're OK. Elmo came about in 1972, at which point this woman would have been at least 16-20 years old, ergo she does not receive the exception) (Also my mother is exempt from this as she is a lovely and wonderful woman, and I would never have any complaint or question about anything she chose to do) (Put THAT on greeting card! Good son points for me!)

So, discuss and post amongst yourselves. I may or may not blog again until I receive sufficient responses, thereby placing the onus on persons other than myself to hold up the "Jeff is an active and valuable blogerator" test.

citibank sharpie

True to my word, I appear again! This time, I deliver part 2 in the sharpie series. To set the stage here, there are two vital pieces of information: 1. the previous blog entry wherein I began the habit of writing modestly worded letters when in a scientific fugue; 2. A friend and co-worker of mine, along with about 75% of everyone on campus banks at the Citibank at the hospital. This leads to massive lines when everyone isn’t supposed to be ‘working’, i.e. at lunch. This correspondence stemmed from my co-worker complaining about some sort of incident at the local branch.

October 2, 2006

Dear Citibank,

I just talked to my friend and he says he doesn’t like you very much. You should change your business practices, because scientists are people too!

Although my friend doesn’t like you, I’m not here to start making enemies. Please accept the enclosed 1cent stamp as a goodwill offering.

Yours truly,
signature

The letter was sent to U.S. Service Center, Citi Inquiries, 100 Citibank Drive PO Box 769004 San Antonio, TX 78245-9004. Again, I have photocopygraphic evidence of such, this time including the fact that a First Class stamp was affixed to the envelope. Documentation can be provided upon request. Again, I never heard anything back from the good people at Citi.

The first paragraph contains a point that I think isn’t made often enough in this world. Be kind to your local scientist.