Ringo Sharpie

A disaster is upon us. Ringo, The Ugly Beatle Who Now Takes Himself Exceedingly Seriously (see this for his craptastic homage to his hometown, which he left but 'never let down,' according to whom we're not sure, but it certainly wasn't the town's fashion or beauty industry, as he's clearly let everyone down in that regard. Have you SEEN his nose??!) will no longer be taking fan mail! Well, that's one way to get yourself in the news as your new album reminds everyone how good things were when you sang only rarely...

You can see his announcement here at the top of the page if you go soon. Not sure exactly what you call his mood during the video. I do enjoy, however, that the website is excited about the video which tells the fans to go fly a kite.

So it's time to bring back the Sharpie and let Ringo know how much I admire some of the things he's done, and also take my last possible chance ever at getting his precious autograph. The following is what I wrote; sadly I was limited to one page because I didn't have any more lined notebook paper sitting around.

October 16, 2008

Dear Ringo,

I wanted to write you a quick note of appreciation before my window to do so closes. I had always intended to have a discourse with The Most Percussive Beatle EVER! and alarmingly find the time to do so becoming rapidly shorter because, alas, it seems that you and I do not travel in the same circles:

A few words of praise:

*I loved your new hit song 'Liverpool 8' because it really sums up your greatness and holds wise and insightful- and cleverly rhyming- words about your humble hometown.
*Your chosen last name is the EXACT SAME! as my cousin's middle name! I don't know if this is a coincidence or intentional; I'd get back go you about that but probably won't hear back about it until after October 20, so alas we will likely be sans communique by that time. I could rent a plane to show you the answer by air banner though, just let me know when and where.

Well Ringo I hope this finds you in the best of health, and that not receiving any more requests will allow you more free time to spend what must be gobs of royalty monies.

I would greatly appreciate your imprint on the enclosed image of your famous 'Peace!' pose. In exchange I have enclosed a tube opener, a taste of my world because I am a scientist.

Peace & Love, Peace & Love,
signature

An envelope containing the above letter, home-made glossy-style Ringo! photo (original image here), and a blue plastic eppendorf tube opening device 'MFG by SSI', and self-addressed stamped envelope was addressed to Ringo Starr, 1541 Ocean Ave. Suite 200 Santa Monica, CA 90401. Letter was sent 10/16, four days prior to his announced mail cut off of 10/20.

I'm going to try to find a scanner and post the copies of everything. I can't really do the photo I sent justice in text.

Hoping for the best on the autograph!

citibank sharpie

True to my word, I appear again! This time, I deliver part 2 in the sharpie series. To set the stage here, there are two vital pieces of information: 1. the previous blog entry wherein I began the habit of writing modestly worded letters when in a scientific fugue; 2. A friend and co-worker of mine, along with about 75% of everyone on campus banks at the Citibank at the hospital. This leads to massive lines when everyone isn’t supposed to be ‘working’, i.e. at lunch. This correspondence stemmed from my co-worker complaining about some sort of incident at the local branch.

October 2, 2006

Dear Citibank,

I just talked to my friend and he says he doesn’t like you very much. You should change your business practices, because scientists are people too!

Although my friend doesn’t like you, I’m not here to start making enemies. Please accept the enclosed 1cent stamp as a goodwill offering.

Yours truly,
signature

The letter was sent to U.S. Service Center, Citi Inquiries, 100 Citibank Drive PO Box 769004 San Antonio, TX 78245-9004. Again, I have photocopygraphic evidence of such, this time including the fact that a First Class stamp was affixed to the envelope. Documentation can be provided upon request. Again, I never heard anything back from the good people at Citi.

The first paragraph contains a point that I think isn’t made often enough in this world. Be kind to your local scientist.