Ringo Sharpie

A disaster is upon us. Ringo, The Ugly Beatle Who Now Takes Himself Exceedingly Seriously (see this for his craptastic homage to his hometown, which he left but 'never let down,' according to whom we're not sure, but it certainly wasn't the town's fashion or beauty industry, as he's clearly let everyone down in that regard. Have you SEEN his nose??!) will no longer be taking fan mail! Well, that's one way to get yourself in the news as your new album reminds everyone how good things were when you sang only rarely...

You can see his announcement here at the top of the page if you go soon. Not sure exactly what you call his mood during the video. I do enjoy, however, that the website is excited about the video which tells the fans to go fly a kite.

So it's time to bring back the Sharpie and let Ringo know how much I admire some of the things he's done, and also take my last possible chance ever at getting his precious autograph. The following is what I wrote; sadly I was limited to one page because I didn't have any more lined notebook paper sitting around.

October 16, 2008

Dear Ringo,

I wanted to write you a quick note of appreciation before my window to do so closes. I had always intended to have a discourse with The Most Percussive Beatle EVER! and alarmingly find the time to do so becoming rapidly shorter because, alas, it seems that you and I do not travel in the same circles:

A few words of praise:

*I loved your new hit song 'Liverpool 8' because it really sums up your greatness and holds wise and insightful- and cleverly rhyming- words about your humble hometown.
*Your chosen last name is the EXACT SAME! as my cousin's middle name! I don't know if this is a coincidence or intentional; I'd get back go you about that but probably won't hear back about it until after October 20, so alas we will likely be sans communique by that time. I could rent a plane to show you the answer by air banner though, just let me know when and where.

Well Ringo I hope this finds you in the best of health, and that not receiving any more requests will allow you more free time to spend what must be gobs of royalty monies.

I would greatly appreciate your imprint on the enclosed image of your famous 'Peace!' pose. In exchange I have enclosed a tube opener, a taste of my world because I am a scientist.

Peace & Love, Peace & Love,
signature

An envelope containing the above letter, home-made glossy-style Ringo! photo (original image here), and a blue plastic eppendorf tube opening device 'MFG by SSI', and self-addressed stamped envelope was addressed to Ringo Starr, 1541 Ocean Ave. Suite 200 Santa Monica, CA 90401. Letter was sent 10/16, four days prior to his announced mail cut off of 10/20.

I'm going to try to find a scanner and post the copies of everything. I can't really do the photo I sent justice in text.

Hoping for the best on the autograph!

I'm Flummoxed I

Today I introduce America's New Favorite Running Blog Event, "I'm Flummoxed!" In this series, I will post, usually briefly but occasionally in long-wind format, an issue or question presently confusing, perplexing, bemusing, baffling, or bothering me and seek the assistance of my friends and vague acquaintances to find an answer to this issue.

(Also, on this particular occasion, this will get me out of the spot immediately above Dallas' Seldom Updated Blog on the Businessman's "Blogs I Like," whereby convincing me that I'm an active and valuable blogerator.)

So, today's flummoxment: Why do middle-aged women (and usually overweight ones at that) find it necessary or reasonable to wear shirts with current day children's characters on them?

The other day I went to the bank and walked past a larger woman of probably 55 years or so waddling her way along the sidewalk wearing a black sweatshirt with a 12-inch or so furry Elmo on it, and, just in case someone misses the quasi-iconic character, "ELMO" in text. Is she really a big Elmo fanatic? Does she own Elmo season tickets?

(A fine line: my mother kind of does this, but it doesn't count as Bad American Behavior because the character she supports is Snoopy, of whom she has been a fan for a very, very long time. Garfield, Mickey Mouse, etc. would then by extension also be a permitted character, the principle being that if the character was around when the individual was a child, you're OK. Elmo came about in 1972, at which point this woman would have been at least 16-20 years old, ergo she does not receive the exception) (Also my mother is exempt from this as she is a lovely and wonderful woman, and I would never have any complaint or question about anything she chose to do) (Put THAT on greeting card! Good son points for me!)

So, discuss and post amongst yourselves. I may or may not blog again until I receive sufficient responses, thereby placing the onus on persons other than myself to hold up the "Jeff is an active and valuable blogerator" test.