05 September 2007
about time
it has been much MORE than a month. and this is what i have to say: i'm still alive. and at 3:30 am after drinking numerous beers at my fantasy draft, i'm fully prepared to claim that i'm one of the funniest people alive. i think it's about time to unleash the beast upon the rest of humanity, which has been stuck with the drab comedic goings on of idiotic hacks for quite some time now...
20 June 2007
it's been over a month...
first, to the businessman: i hope you're aware that i have on more than one occasion tried to reach your fanciful blog by entering http://www.businessjive.com/ . please follow that link and see what happens. it's like phillip seymour hoffman's total weirdo character from 'happiness' has his own website. skeevy to the max.
second, well, i don't have much of a second. but i can reflect on this: from sunday thorugh friday i will have five athletic contests in six days. 12" softball sunday, 16" softball monday, basketball (don't know the circumfrence, my bad) tuesday, weds off, 16" thursday, 12" friday. it's all very fun and i get to spend enjoyable time running around bases and drinking beer with mostly quality people and all, but still.... i think this has officially gotten a little oot of hand.
third, i will make the point that i am now going to restart my computer, except when i resume it i will run the magnificent open source OS "linux". two points: a) i hate to be a computer snob, and in all reality it can be a pain in the ass because of a very steep learning curve, but the whole 'open source' thing linux has going on is amazing. i can tell you from my installation procedure that it's not for the complete computer idiot, but at the same time i feel like you should have a smidgeon of know-how if you're going to run the massively important and powerful machine that is today's greatest tool, the computer. and to that end, there are distinct benefits to using it. for instance, my ubuntu install came with text and spreadsheet software which the average non-pirating Windows user would have to pay in excess of $150 for. warrants a mention.
that was long, so we warrant a second paragraph. b) i will be running linux because it is the only system where i can do a portion of my work. subpoints i) yes, i'm doing work at quarter to 1 am ii) it's really interesting stuff wherein in a very limited sample size (2, about as limited as you get for these purposes) we may have some biological differences of significant consequence that i, right now, will be the first one to look for, assess, and investigate. the moral: what i'm bout to do has me in a pretty neat position. but i guess i'm the kind who gets a kick out of little things like being the first to make a discovery that a lot of people just wouldn't grasp or spend the time to care about. but trust me, you should care about it, it's really neat.
second, well, i don't have much of a second. but i can reflect on this: from sunday thorugh friday i will have five athletic contests in six days. 12" softball sunday, 16" softball monday, basketball (don't know the circumfrence, my bad) tuesday, weds off, 16" thursday, 12" friday. it's all very fun and i get to spend enjoyable time running around bases and drinking beer with mostly quality people and all, but still.... i think this has officially gotten a little oot of hand.
third, i will make the point that i am now going to restart my computer, except when i resume it i will run the magnificent open source OS "linux". two points: a) i hate to be a computer snob, and in all reality it can be a pain in the ass because of a very steep learning curve, but the whole 'open source' thing linux has going on is amazing. i can tell you from my installation procedure that it's not for the complete computer idiot, but at the same time i feel like you should have a smidgeon of know-how if you're going to run the massively important and powerful machine that is today's greatest tool, the computer. and to that end, there are distinct benefits to using it. for instance, my ubuntu install came with text and spreadsheet software which the average non-pirating Windows user would have to pay in excess of $150 for. warrants a mention.
that was long, so we warrant a second paragraph. b) i will be running linux because it is the only system where i can do a portion of my work. subpoints i) yes, i'm doing work at quarter to 1 am ii) it's really interesting stuff wherein in a very limited sample size (2, about as limited as you get for these purposes) we may have some biological differences of significant consequence that i, right now, will be the first one to look for, assess, and investigate. the moral: what i'm bout to do has me in a pretty neat position. but i guess i'm the kind who gets a kick out of little things like being the first to make a discovery that a lot of people just wouldn't grasp or spend the time to care about. but trust me, you should care about it, it's really neat.
13 May 2007
blog e: new template
i like this new template. the background is kind of like the microarrays i run. therefore i will continue to use it.
please let people know that i am making this blog. i feel like it is a very lonely pursuit at the moment.
please let people know that i am making this blog. i feel like it is a very lonely pursuit at the moment.
blog d: i'm considerably funny
have you seen
acceptable tv?
i think i can be funnier than their repetitive crap. for that matter, i know i'm much funnier than that. they get so close but fall so short. for instance, their law and order idea ended up being a complete disaster. and "the kosbees" is just a cosby impersonator saying 'theo rudy' over and over. there are much funnier and less cosbyisms to play on. (and for that matter family guy has already done it)
give me the subject, and i will give you funnier. SOMEONE JUST GIVE ME A CONTRACT. LET ME SPEND MY TIME CONCENTRATING ON THIS AND NOT SCIENCE. I CAN'T MAKE GOOD TV CUZ I'M TOO GODDAMN BUSY BEING A REAL WORKING PERSON WHO PLAYS A LOT OF SPORTS.
let's get together on this... let's be honest, Shockingly Random Drama was at least a start (is that online anywhere? what do i have to do to make it available? i want the world to see me without pants on)
also, please have the chicago Second City people take over saturday night live, because SNL sucks shit nowadays. but i'm not quite that good just yet.
acceptable tv?
i think i can be funnier than their repetitive crap. for that matter, i know i'm much funnier than that. they get so close but fall so short. for instance, their law and order idea ended up being a complete disaster. and "the kosbees" is just a cosby impersonator saying 'theo rudy' over and over. there are much funnier and less cosbyisms to play on. (and for that matter family guy has already done it)
give me the subject, and i will give you funnier. SOMEONE JUST GIVE ME A CONTRACT. LET ME SPEND MY TIME CONCENTRATING ON THIS AND NOT SCIENCE. I CAN'T MAKE GOOD TV CUZ I'M TOO GODDAMN BUSY BEING A REAL WORKING PERSON WHO PLAYS A LOT OF SPORTS.
let's get together on this... let's be honest, Shockingly Random Drama was at least a start (is that online anywhere? what do i have to do to make it available? i want the world to see me without pants on)
also, please have the chicago Second City people take over saturday night live, because SNL sucks shit nowadays. but i'm not quite that good just yet.
blog c: funny animals
echidnas lay eggs, but have hair. i want one.
every armadillo brood is 4 offspring, all genetically identical.
mastodons have been shown to be similar to mammals. and t. rex have been shown to be kind of similar to chickens. bottom line is that we know a little sonething about mastodons and t. rexes, which is very tentative but also incredibly cool.
platypi have five sex chromosomes, effectively males are X1Y1X2Y2X3Y3X4Y4X5Y5. humans and most other mammals are just plain XY.
28 weeks later just came out. i really enjoyed 28 days later. it was part of one really great day of movie-trekking around ames. on that day i also saw confidence, which was very clever, narc, which was as expected, the ring, which was good but too extreme, and road to perdition, which i was too worn out to enjoy.
every armadillo brood is 4 offspring, all genetically identical.
mastodons have been shown to be similar to mammals. and t. rex have been shown to be kind of similar to chickens. bottom line is that we know a little sonething about mastodons and t. rexes, which is very tentative but also incredibly cool.
platypi have five sex chromosomes, effectively males are X1Y1X2Y2X3Y3X4Y4X5Y5. humans and most other mammals are just plain XY.
28 weeks later just came out. i really enjoyed 28 days later. it was part of one really great day of movie-trekking around ames. on that day i also saw confidence, which was very clever, narc, which was as expected, the ring, which was good but too extreme, and road to perdition, which i was too worn out to enjoy.
blog b: recently
i have been spending a boatload of time on two things lately
1) work. i'm trying to get a new process to work. and i may have finally found someone who knows how to do it for me tonight, someone i've known for two years and just now found out part of what he does.
2) intramural-type league sports. i play basketball tuesday and thursday, softball friay, and even soccer on saturday. this is a game on over half the days of the week.
2b) drinking after or during sports. the wonderful thing about playing basketball midweek is that you end up drinking midweek AFTER playing. as i said, i play tuesday and thursday.
let's briefly discuss the teams i'm on. my tuesday basketball team stinks. we're 0-4. people have no idea what role they are playing. my thursday team, on the other hand, knows exactly what they're doing. we're 6-0. pretty amusing to play on one horrible team and one awful team. softball team is 2-0 currently after playing two shitty teams; soccer team is 3-0-1; we're pretty decent, but i feel like nothing really good. we hold our own but can be beat.
anyhow, the bottom line is this: i have come to realize that another reason to love sports is that its a great way to bring people together. though i think maybe we're too obsessed with sports, its a great connection between people. i can now count at least six accountants as friends, entirely because i started playing softball with them. i met another few people playing football. i meet new people every week at basketball. people have the best of intentions; they're competitors but also people.
1) work. i'm trying to get a new process to work. and i may have finally found someone who knows how to do it for me tonight, someone i've known for two years and just now found out part of what he does.
2) intramural-type league sports. i play basketball tuesday and thursday, softball friay, and even soccer on saturday. this is a game on over half the days of the week.
2b) drinking after or during sports. the wonderful thing about playing basketball midweek is that you end up drinking midweek AFTER playing. as i said, i play tuesday and thursday.
let's briefly discuss the teams i'm on. my tuesday basketball team stinks. we're 0-4. people have no idea what role they are playing. my thursday team, on the other hand, knows exactly what they're doing. we're 6-0. pretty amusing to play on one horrible team and one awful team. softball team is 2-0 currently after playing two shitty teams; soccer team is 3-0-1; we're pretty decent, but i feel like nothing really good. we hold our own but can be beat.
anyhow, the bottom line is this: i have come to realize that another reason to love sports is that its a great way to bring people together. though i think maybe we're too obsessed with sports, its a great connection between people. i can now count at least six accountants as friends, entirely because i started playing softball with them. i met another few people playing football. i meet new people every week at basketball. people have the best of intentions; they're competitors but also people.
blog a: two weeks ago
this is a pretty impressive story.
you may not understand how cool this tale is, but its really pretty impressive.
some people get this experience, but many never, EVER, will be in this position. i'm coming to realize this, and i'm coming to realize that this fact makes my current position really, really damn cool.
so a couple weeks ago there was The Big Seminar On Campus. the gist of it is this: guy discovers a basic biological mechanism. this mechanism has particular functional significance, on a small and a large scale level. on the small level, well, this is a molecule (RNA) which can catalyze (act on) itself. effectively, it doesn't need shit else.
on the larger scale, this THEORETICALLY could give an insight as to the evolutionary origin of organsims.
anyhow, in addition to this guy giving what ended up being a fairly elementary talk, there was an introdution given by Dr. James Watson. this is Dr. James Watson of Crick and Watson. for those of you who are unfamiliar, he is on of the original namesakes, one of the original "discoverers" of the structure of EVERYONE'S genetic material. his work isn't the end of the world, but for fuck's sake, it makes the beginning of it a hell of a lot bigger.
to put this in perspective, this is like the socrates of philosophy, the pete rose of hitting, the peter of kissing religous ass, in terms of genetics. second to reading and loving henry woo in Jurassic Park, this is my guy.
anyhow, James Watson was the sponsor of the day's lecture, and at the request of Fairly Eminent Speaker he was in attendance. so in anticipation of a pretty full talk, i showed up early. and before i knew it, Dr. James Watson walked right past my left shoulder.
that was pretty cool, for the record. imagine one of your top five idols walking right past you, no matter how old he/she may be. way neat.
but the great thing was that after that, he goes on to give the introduction for the lecture series.
and i can tell you this.
dr. james watson grew up at 7944 luella st. in chicago. he went do the university of chicago on a scholarship,. partly because his mom knew the administrator of the scholarship he was on. and after a ten minute talk, he said he wanted to give back to the university that gave him his start. i may not be stating this clearly to this point, so i will say it now: James Watson, the 70-something Nobel Prize winner, spent 15 minutes talking like my grandfather. for that matter, the day before he died, my grandfather told me four stories that were much more interesting and 4x more coherent than the one james watson told. and furthermore, my grandfather was one year older.
and so it comes to this: i had my brush with greatness. and it was interesting. it was impressive. but at the same time, i get the feeling that it was impressive because that is what it is made up to be. i have been in more inspirational presences , such as that of the teacher from my elementary school system who was a potential candidate for the position of christa mcauliffe. he was interesting, and inspirational, though perhaps not ultimately groundbreaking. at the same time, at least he's not dead now either. but the multiple failures of the space program are another subject.
a few points. 1. i was in the presence of an absolute luminary in my field. this is very, very neat. 2. this particular luminary, though i have heard fairly abbrasive things about him, was relatively pleasant. 3. while being pleasant, he also acted like a person who was just like a regular old person. it seems that perhaps when you get to the old point, its all just oldness.
which supports an idea of mine, one that i try to stick to. i may be on an advanced academic track. but that's just what my hypothetical and/or eventual future requires of me. i know a lof of people in other fields. teachers. accountants. machinists. realtors. management types. and some of them say 'wow what a great thing you're doing'. its not that great. its what i'm good at. its an understanding i've got. the people i know who do disparate things, i couldn't imagine how to start at what they do. but in the end, no matter what our strenghts and weaknesses, we're all people. we all have a common experience, and for fuck's sake that should be a big factor in tying us all together.
you may not understand how cool this tale is, but its really pretty impressive.
some people get this experience, but many never, EVER, will be in this position. i'm coming to realize this, and i'm coming to realize that this fact makes my current position really, really damn cool.
so a couple weeks ago there was The Big Seminar On Campus. the gist of it is this: guy discovers a basic biological mechanism. this mechanism has particular functional significance, on a small and a large scale level. on the small level, well, this is a molecule (RNA) which can catalyze (act on) itself. effectively, it doesn't need shit else.
on the larger scale, this THEORETICALLY could give an insight as to the evolutionary origin of organsims.
anyhow, in addition to this guy giving what ended up being a fairly elementary talk, there was an introdution given by Dr. James Watson. this is Dr. James Watson of Crick and Watson. for those of you who are unfamiliar, he is on of the original namesakes, one of the original "discoverers" of the structure of EVERYONE'S genetic material. his work isn't the end of the world, but for fuck's sake, it makes the beginning of it a hell of a lot bigger.
to put this in perspective, this is like the socrates of philosophy, the pete rose of hitting, the peter of kissing religous ass, in terms of genetics. second to reading and loving henry woo in Jurassic Park, this is my guy.
anyhow, James Watson was the sponsor of the day's lecture, and at the request of Fairly Eminent Speaker he was in attendance. so in anticipation of a pretty full talk, i showed up early. and before i knew it, Dr. James Watson walked right past my left shoulder.
that was pretty cool, for the record. imagine one of your top five idols walking right past you, no matter how old he/she may be. way neat.
but the great thing was that after that, he goes on to give the introduction for the lecture series.
and i can tell you this.
dr. james watson grew up at 7944 luella st. in chicago. he went do the university of chicago on a scholarship,. partly because his mom knew the administrator of the scholarship he was on. and after a ten minute talk, he said he wanted to give back to the university that gave him his start. i may not be stating this clearly to this point, so i will say it now: James Watson, the 70-something Nobel Prize winner, spent 15 minutes talking like my grandfather. for that matter, the day before he died, my grandfather told me four stories that were much more interesting and 4x more coherent than the one james watson told. and furthermore, my grandfather was one year older.
and so it comes to this: i had my brush with greatness. and it was interesting. it was impressive. but at the same time, i get the feeling that it was impressive because that is what it is made up to be. i have been in more inspirational presences , such as that of the teacher from my elementary school system who was a potential candidate for the position of christa mcauliffe. he was interesting, and inspirational, though perhaps not ultimately groundbreaking. at the same time, at least he's not dead now either. but the multiple failures of the space program are another subject.
a few points. 1. i was in the presence of an absolute luminary in my field. this is very, very neat. 2. this particular luminary, though i have heard fairly abbrasive things about him, was relatively pleasant. 3. while being pleasant, he also acted like a person who was just like a regular old person. it seems that perhaps when you get to the old point, its all just oldness.
which supports an idea of mine, one that i try to stick to. i may be on an advanced academic track. but that's just what my hypothetical and/or eventual future requires of me. i know a lof of people in other fields. teachers. accountants. machinists. realtors. management types. and some of them say 'wow what a great thing you're doing'. its not that great. its what i'm good at. its an understanding i've got. the people i know who do disparate things, i couldn't imagine how to start at what they do. but in the end, no matter what our strenghts and weaknesses, we're all people. we all have a common experience, and for fuck's sake that should be a big factor in tying us all together.
20 April 2007
4 statements about porcupines
1. they typically weigh approximately 5-16 kg
2. its genome is not completely sequenced insofar as i can gather
3. it has no direct relationship but shares probably 85% of its genes (or better) with the weird british/indian guy on abc world news.
4. they love grape juice and don't think anyone is to blame for someone unpredictably going really really really crazy, because although 85% of their biological being is the very same as humans their behavior is rather dissimilar and competely unpredictable and if you generalize the way one porcupine rolls to all the other porcupines that just ain't legit.
mark it, dude
(is more than one person reading this?)
*statements are not necessarily fact checked nor 100% factual, but generally amusing and sometimes meaning-bearing
2. its genome is not completely sequenced insofar as i can gather
3. it has no direct relationship but shares probably 85% of its genes (or better) with the weird british/indian guy on abc world news.
4. they love grape juice and don't think anyone is to blame for someone unpredictably going really really really crazy, because although 85% of their biological being is the very same as humans their behavior is rather dissimilar and competely unpredictable and if you generalize the way one porcupine rolls to all the other porcupines that just ain't legit.
mark it, dude
(is more than one person reading this?)
*statements are not necessarily fact checked nor 100% factual, but generally amusing and sometimes meaning-bearing
13 April 2007
for Mr. Business Guy, and myself a little bit
so.
i once upon a time registered a blogspot address. i think my original intention was to deliver some rant about the damn yankees, in the non-cultural sense; that is, i hate how overblown the yankees consistently are. and, Mr. Business Guy, the red sox are now in that territory as well. you spent 103 million on a 26 year old pitcher......
[punch line excluded]
[rebuttal to 'GREATEST GAME IN THE WORLD' also excluded for the time]
anyhow, as promised, i want to spend a brief moment to say that we've now spent 4 days talking about some weirdo 50-year old disconnected biggot who i didn't even know existed. and, for that matter, 95% of america didn't know who he was, until the third day after he made this asinine "nappy-headed hos" comment (and if you don't think i'm contemplating "don imus' hos" for every rec or fantasy league i'm involved in for the next six months you have something to learn about me) (which is why i guess i'm going to post these blogs, because for some wonky "Web 2.0" reason i want at least a few people to know what i think... one day the subject matter will be things more significant than just baseball and don imus, things i know more than the average homo sapien about, i promise)
(what exactly was Web 1.0 then? ebay and amazon.com and webzines like slate being the only place where also-rans got to publish an opinion? then i say why not to Web 2.0, because amen to craigslist and the independent man who knows a whole lot about whatever it is he chooses to talk about)
ok long diatribe. point being, few people cared who don imus was until monday (which was three days after he made the comment, by my reckoning) (note: i may have factually errors in occasion, feel free to point them out and if they really fuck my point of view on things maybe i'll change it)
i don't care much about his comment, though tonight i heard the first arguments all week about why this was so offensive, and they were very pertinent points about gender, as this whole 'hos' thing has pervaded society now, and not so much about the nappy-headed part. what i'm fascinated by is the amount of play this has gotten. let me lay this out: the main story in national news for nearly a week straight has been some pseudo-cultural figure making (shock and surprise) a sexist racist comment. let's be honest: we've been here before. i'm not going to cite a recent example because i'm very bad with contextual memory, but my mere disgust with this issue assures me that this has happened in larger fashoin relatively recently.
and the point is: somehow, this is THE NEWS OF THE WEEK.
because the labile media doesn't get (or make) any new cookie to feed on for the week.
so the lesson is this: on a slow news week, an antiquated jerk is headline news all week. you say to me "an antiquated jerk" and i say, ok, let's get a real news story. can't we discuss something worth everyone's while?
and that is what i have to say today. and now the tagline: mark it, dude.
was this the most disjointed post you've ever read? maybe in the top 10
did you enjoy it nonetheless, as you knew i was being honest and unedited? i hope so.
(that was the cheesey closer i came up with 15 minutes before i actually finished this post)
also, the question for this post is: does lack of punctuation annoy you, or should i keep it going as my thing?
still to come: i might discuss why it is that i'm now blogging, seeing as i haven't almost died recently.
other things you might eventually see: my opinions on sports; my input on the world of science (these are the things i pay most of my attention to); links to things i find amusing or personally satisfying; ill-advised pseudo-political or -philosophical meanderings; other things i am inspired to write about thanks to Mr. Business Guy's newfound creativity outlet or my own personal midweek drunkenness
i once upon a time registered a blogspot address. i think my original intention was to deliver some rant about the damn yankees, in the non-cultural sense; that is, i hate how overblown the yankees consistently are. and, Mr. Business Guy, the red sox are now in that territory as well. you spent 103 million on a 26 year old pitcher......
[punch line excluded]
[rebuttal to 'GREATEST GAME IN THE WORLD' also excluded for the time]
anyhow, as promised, i want to spend a brief moment to say that we've now spent 4 days talking about some weirdo 50-year old disconnected biggot who i didn't even know existed. and, for that matter, 95% of america didn't know who he was, until the third day after he made this asinine "nappy-headed hos" comment (and if you don't think i'm contemplating "don imus' hos" for every rec or fantasy league i'm involved in for the next six months you have something to learn about me) (which is why i guess i'm going to post these blogs, because for some wonky "Web 2.0" reason i want at least a few people to know what i think... one day the subject matter will be things more significant than just baseball and don imus, things i know more than the average homo sapien about, i promise)
(what exactly was Web 1.0 then? ebay and amazon.com and webzines like slate being the only place where also-rans got to publish an opinion? then i say why not to Web 2.0, because amen to craigslist and the independent man who knows a whole lot about whatever it is he chooses to talk about)
ok long diatribe. point being, few people cared who don imus was until monday (which was three days after he made the comment, by my reckoning) (note: i may have factually errors in occasion, feel free to point them out and if they really fuck my point of view on things maybe i'll change it)
i don't care much about his comment, though tonight i heard the first arguments all week about why this was so offensive, and they were very pertinent points about gender, as this whole 'hos' thing has pervaded society now, and not so much about the nappy-headed part. what i'm fascinated by is the amount of play this has gotten. let me lay this out: the main story in national news for nearly a week straight has been some pseudo-cultural figure making (shock and surprise) a sexist racist comment. let's be honest: we've been here before. i'm not going to cite a recent example because i'm very bad with contextual memory, but my mere disgust with this issue assures me that this has happened in larger fashoin relatively recently.
and the point is: somehow, this is THE NEWS OF THE WEEK.
because the labile media doesn't get (or make) any new cookie to feed on for the week.
so the lesson is this: on a slow news week, an antiquated jerk is headline news all week. you say to me "an antiquated jerk" and i say, ok, let's get a real news story. can't we discuss something worth everyone's while?
and that is what i have to say today. and now the tagline: mark it, dude.
was this the most disjointed post you've ever read? maybe in the top 10
did you enjoy it nonetheless, as you knew i was being honest and unedited? i hope so.
(that was the cheesey closer i came up with 15 minutes before i actually finished this post)
also, the question for this post is: does lack of punctuation annoy you, or should i keep it going as my thing?
still to come: i might discuss why it is that i'm now blogging, seeing as i haven't almost died recently.
other things you might eventually see: my opinions on sports; my input on the world of science (these are the things i pay most of my attention to); links to things i find amusing or personally satisfying; ill-advised pseudo-political or -philosophical meanderings; other things i am inspired to write about thanks to Mr. Business Guy's newfound creativity outlet or my own personal midweek drunkenness
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