On my way to work today the often funny but sometimes obnoxiously repetitive morning guy I listen to kept playing two things. I will explain the hilarity of each and delve into related topics in this blog.
[In science they tell me it's good to prime my audience with a brief description of what I will be telling them. Clearly this tactic is far to blunt to be considered literary 'foreshadowing', and since scientists are fairly boring people we call it an 'outline'. How very technical of us.]
The first clip was a radio ad by Metallica promoting their upcoming tour. Of particular note was the fact that the commercial was supposedly James and Larz conversationally discussing the upcoming tour, esp. how rocking the Chicago tour dates are going to be. Problem was, the commercial is stitched together worse than Pat Summerall's announcing in the old Madden games, where there was a distinct change of pitch and tone every time the announcer used fill-in-the-blank information. e.g. to the ear it always came off something like "That's a TEN yard run by NUMBER FIFTEEN." In the case of this ad, however, the fill-in-the-blank voice wasn't even that of Larz or James, it was Stock Excited Radio Voice. I cannot describe how bad this commercial really was. I hope you hear it, but at the same time, I hope you are spared.
The second was a clip of Matt Lauer saying "Some scientists believe the world may soon come to an end." I found it particularly entertaining that they used this very short edit of the clip, because of the extreme gravity of the situation without any specification of why in the hell the world might end. I can see plenty of further uses of this clip down the road. In fact I may very well use the sound bit as my own proclamation when my Official Masterwork, The Genome Troll (r), goes off the grid and threatens to ruin humanity.
Of note, however, is what I presume to be the true reason for the potential end times just around the corner. A lot of people (by which I mean actually very few but a majority of my immediate sphere of influence) are getting revved up about some Big Time Science that's about to start in Europe. Namely, the Large Hadron Collider near Geneva, Switzerland is about to start blasting some protons. I will not even pretend that I know exactly what it's doing, but the jist of it is that it's going to send protons (one of the basic components of an atom) flying around a big ring at just below the speed of light, and then ultimately collide them to look for the even smaller particles called bosons that actually make up protons. According to people who think about really, really small things a lot, these wee particles may be what give everything mass, a.k.a. (roughly) weight. Some of the preceding few statements may be technically inaccurate, but you get the picture.
The reason Matt Lauer gets to talk about the end of the world, then, is that some overeducated whack jobs believe that the massive energy involved in the collisions at the LHC will create a black hole which will then destroy the world. Yippee! I'm personally not terribly concerned because if the world disappears in a black hole, well, that's pretty much it for everything. Sure I get reduced to nothing but so does all the money I owe in student loans and on my stupid college credit card. That'd be the end of my family and friends too, but I'd never have to see Rene Zellweger ever again either. Effectively being black holed becomes a wash. It would be nice to see how Lost ends though...
One scientific reason put forth to not be concerned is that apparently if a black hole is created in the process of bosonometry, well the black hole will just be really small anyway and we'll all be ok. Wait, wait, wait, wait wait one damn minute here. Now perhaps it is only an elementary understanding, but the impression I get about matter so incredibly dense that it sucks anything into it is that it wouldn't be particularly relevant how big this particular unit is. All of a sudden we have a threshold for how big really dense matter needs to be before it consumes the world? Not buying it. And anyway, this black hole would be created in the middle of a really really giant and heavy magento-ring apparatus, so wouldn't the thing just Tamagatchi itself over the threshold pretty quick anyhow? I mean, I'd hope not because I really want to see how Lost ends, but still. I'm not buying the "A Black Hole Too Small" explanation.
Anyhow, just wanted to pass on some of the wonderful things I've found lately that either explain or make light of the LHC.
Here and here are very useful resources for tracking research progress.
Wikipedia article
The first of a five-part PhD comics series on the LHC, a very nice description
The wonderful XKCD's take (if you haven't read this comic you probably should)
10 September 2008
05 September 2008
Arnie Baker sharpie
The summer of 2006 was a magical time. I began my current binge of city-league sport involvement with a team so woeful I nearly quit on them two weeks into the season. They were awful, like really bad, like so bad half of them didn’t have an idea what was going on. And, to compound the awful, I was playing softball because I enjoyed it and was pretty good at it, so was hoping for some wins. Oh well.
Additionally, my former relationship was falling apart, which was in itself not particularly magical, but, in retrospect, probably OK. Directly related to this, I became very good friends with a cat who would eventually become preposterously obese, so that’s a nice story.
And, most importantly (or germanely at least), the hearts of America were being touched by a thin man with the facial hair of a 14 year old. Amongst the softball team, we called this special character Skeevy Floyd, due in no small part to the aforementioned face pubes. And in no small part to his tendency to wear yellow and be a scrawny, generally smarmy looking dude with a monstrous underbite.
Floyd Landis made quite the ripples when he first enlivened America’s hopes for continued dominance in the Tour de’ France (aka, the Only Bike Race 98% of the World Will Ever Even Pretend to Care About) following the untimely passing of Lance Armstrong from athlete/here to obnoxious celebrity who’s kind of a jerk but raises money for a popular and probably deserving cause. Yeah, I’m passing judgement.
[Since the previous paragraph included a really long sentence-
obscenely long- I’ll insert an aesthetic break here]
America’s hopes were dashed after Floyd broke, bounced, crashed, fornicated, mictorated, evacuated, eviscerated, or whatever they call “rode a bike up a giant mountain like a bum” in the world of bike racing. However, Floyd made a smashing comeback very shortly thereafter and ultimately drove into Paris wearing a yellow jersey. Cause celebre’!!! And everyone ate baguettes.
Flash forward to a few weeks later, when it was revealed that Floyd’s urine test from the day of his ‘ride de vie’ came back with fatty amounts of testosterone in it, beyond, by report, his standard levels. Floyd, ever the Skeevy, claimed that it was from drinking too much whiskey the night before. Silly Floyd, everyone knows you can’t get whiskey in France! Ultimately he was stripped of the Yellowest Jersey of
Them All. My fellow softball players and I were not surprised by this, but we did stop short of winning the league as a celebration of his Divine Skeevyness- one must admit, in terms of skeevy, winning while cheating AND having face pubes is right at the top of the list.
Of course, Floyd would not go down easy. A defense was posted on his behalf by one Arnie Baker in early October 2006. The appeal was twofold: one, that the testing lab was not going blind and had it out for Floyd, and two, that his levels were not actually criminally high. A full presentation was posted by at Mr. Baker’s website. As fans of the Yellowest Jersey of Them All and especially fans of human drama, my
fellow labmates and I perused the appeal.
The following are the results of our endeavor. This marks the third and final sharpie letter I have sent to date.
Addressed to Arnie Baker, 1820 Washington Place San Diego, CA 92103-2723. Again, photocopies on hand with stamp and copy of the Dilbert comic. [Which reads: Panel 1. title bar “MIKE THE VEGAN” Mike: “I USE NO ANIMAL PRODUCTS WHATSOEVER!” Panel 2. Dilbert: “YOUR CLOTHES WERE CREATED ON SEWING MACHINES THAT USED ELECTRICITY FROM COAL AND OIL, AND THOSE COME FROM DEAD DINOSAURS.” Panel 3. Mike is seen walking through naked “I NEED TO START MAKING EXCEPTIONS.”]
Original documents can be found here. The specific statement cited in the letter is on page 39 of the “Whats fair is clear slide show 3.1” ~2/3 of the way down the page. It appears that this has grown considerably since we first saw it, fitting with all of the court of arbitration stuff that just finally got settled (verdict: still skeevy).
Have a good weekend everyone, and big ups to my brother and friend Nate who just gave women diamonds of particular significance.
Additionally, my former relationship was falling apart, which was in itself not particularly magical, but, in retrospect, probably OK. Directly related to this, I became very good friends with a cat who would eventually become preposterously obese, so that’s a nice story.
And, most importantly (or germanely at least), the hearts of America were being touched by a thin man with the facial hair of a 14 year old. Amongst the softball team, we called this special character Skeevy Floyd, due in no small part to the aforementioned face pubes. And in no small part to his tendency to wear yellow and be a scrawny, generally smarmy looking dude with a monstrous underbite.
Floyd Landis made quite the ripples when he first enlivened America’s hopes for continued dominance in the Tour de’ France (aka, the Only Bike Race 98% of the World Will Ever Even Pretend to Care About) following the untimely passing of Lance Armstrong from athlete/here to obnoxious celebrity who’s kind of a jerk but raises money for a popular and probably deserving cause. Yeah, I’m passing judgement.
[Since the previous paragraph included a really long sentence-
obscenely long- I’ll insert an aesthetic break here]
America’s hopes were dashed after Floyd broke, bounced, crashed, fornicated, mictorated, evacuated, eviscerated, or whatever they call “rode a bike up a giant mountain like a bum” in the world of bike racing. However, Floyd made a smashing comeback very shortly thereafter and ultimately drove into Paris wearing a yellow jersey. Cause celebre’!!! And everyone ate baguettes.
Flash forward to a few weeks later, when it was revealed that Floyd’s urine test from the day of his ‘ride de vie’ came back with fatty amounts of testosterone in it, beyond, by report, his standard levels. Floyd, ever the Skeevy, claimed that it was from drinking too much whiskey the night before. Silly Floyd, everyone knows you can’t get whiskey in France! Ultimately he was stripped of the Yellowest Jersey of
Them All. My fellow softball players and I were not surprised by this, but we did stop short of winning the league as a celebration of his Divine Skeevyness- one must admit, in terms of skeevy, winning while cheating AND having face pubes is right at the top of the list.
Of course, Floyd would not go down easy. A defense was posted on his behalf by one Arnie Baker in early October 2006. The appeal was twofold: one, that the testing lab was not going blind and had it out for Floyd, and two, that his levels were not actually criminally high. A full presentation was posted by at Mr. Baker’s website. As fans of the Yellowest Jersey of Them All and especially fans of human drama, my
fellow labmates and I perused the appeal.
The following are the results of our endeavor. This marks the third and final sharpie letter I have sent to date.
October 12, 2006
Dear Mr. Baker
I just wanted to let you know that my friends and I (actually coworkers, but we all get along so we’re friends too) have just finished viewing your presentation in defense of Floyd’s positive testosterone test.
We are all scientists, and while the evidence you present seems indicative that Mr. Landis may not have been involved in any skeevy behavior, we are not sufficiently familiar with cycling federation rules to adjudicate this case.
Being scientists, however, we are of a position and authority to evaluate your presentation. We think it stinks. For instance, you over-bullet in some cases, such as:
- Knew it was Floyd
- From his pelvic cortisone (not exact quote)
In common English this second statement is not an independent declaration, rather it is a supportive statement to the preceding point. Additionally, your presentation features a number of “orphan” bullets. Much like in an outline format, a bulleted list should be a list. Only one item does not substatiate a subpoint.
This presentation would be fine if it were put together by a high schooler or common worker. However, as persons in the public eye and of some academic merit, the standard for presentations of this sort should be high. Yours, however, left much to be desired in terms of grammatical format and quality of presentation. In addition to the technical aspects, your demonstration failed to entertain and made my ehes hurt a little. Perhaps you could be more deliberate in your stylistic choices.
I do not, however, intend to demean your work. I’m sure you had the best of intentions and, as I said, your scientific commentary is fairly robust.
To indicate that I foster no ill will, I have enclosed a Dilbert comic from Tuesday, September 5. It makes an entertaining point about how silly it is to be a vegan. Of course I do not intend to offend if you ARE a vegan, rather take it as a bit of levity for the moment.
Best,
signature
Addressed to Arnie Baker, 1820 Washington Place San Diego, CA 92103-2723. Again, photocopies on hand with stamp and copy of the Dilbert comic. [Which reads: Panel 1. title bar “MIKE THE VEGAN” Mike: “I USE NO ANIMAL PRODUCTS WHATSOEVER!” Panel 2. Dilbert: “YOUR CLOTHES WERE CREATED ON SEWING MACHINES THAT USED ELECTRICITY FROM COAL AND OIL, AND THOSE COME FROM DEAD DINOSAURS.” Panel 3. Mike is seen walking through naked “I NEED TO START MAKING EXCEPTIONS.”]
Original documents can be found here. The specific statement cited in the letter is on page 39 of the “Whats fair is clear slide show 3.1” ~2/3 of the way down the page. It appears that this has grown considerably since we first saw it, fitting with all of the court of arbitration stuff that just finally got settled (verdict: still skeevy).
Have a good weekend everyone, and big ups to my brother and friend Nate who just gave women diamonds of particular significance.
29 August 2008
citibank sharpie
True to my word, I appear again! This time, I deliver part 2 in the sharpie series. To set the stage here, there are two vital pieces of information: 1. the previous blog entry wherein I began the habit of writing modestly worded letters when in a scientific fugue; 2. A friend and co-worker of mine, along with about 75% of everyone on campus banks at the Citibank at the hospital. This leads to massive lines when everyone isn’t supposed to be ‘working’, i.e. at lunch. This correspondence stemmed from my co-worker complaining about some sort of incident at the local branch.
The letter was sent to U.S. Service Center, Citi Inquiries, 100 Citibank Drive PO Box 769004 San Antonio, TX 78245-9004. Again, I have photocopygraphic evidence of such, this time including the fact that a First Class stamp was affixed to the envelope. Documentation can be provided upon request. Again, I never heard anything back from the good people at Citi.
The first paragraph contains a point that I think isn’t made often enough in this world. Be kind to your local scientist.
October 2, 2006
Dear Citibank,
I just talked to my friend and he says he doesn’t like you very much. You should change your business practices, because scientists are people too!
Although my friend doesn’t like you, I’m not here to start making enemies. Please accept the enclosed 1cent stamp as a goodwill offering.
Yours truly,
signature
The letter was sent to U.S. Service Center, Citi Inquiries, 100 Citibank Drive PO Box 769004 San Antonio, TX 78245-9004. Again, I have photocopygraphic evidence of such, this time including the fact that a First Class stamp was affixed to the envelope. Documentation can be provided upon request. Again, I never heard anything back from the good people at Citi.
The first paragraph contains a point that I think isn’t made often enough in this world. Be kind to your local scientist.
27 August 2008
sharpie sharpie
Well, it has been a long absence, mostly excused since had I posted a
blog over the last n months it would have consisted mostly of “Today I
did a lot of mundane daily activities, which were of interest only to
me, but let me tell you how important I think my life is.” Thus, I did
everyone a favor and didn’t blog.
However, last night I was sitting around doing some mundane daily
activities when I realized how entertaining I occasionally can be, and
decided that it is nearly criminal for me not to share my fantastic wit
and creativity with a select few acquaintances and some random “next
blog” walkers who, like me, have some time to kill.
I also realized that blogging is the perfect internet/creative outlet
for a person with the immense affinity for sloppy, run-on sentences that
I possess.
And so, the re-appearance of GENEBALL! which thus far has succeeded in
having little to do with genes and considerably less to do with balls.
Perhaps I’ll get there one day. Anyhow, as a warm-up for me and taste of
my wit for the opposite-of-masses, I offer my first (of three to this
point) Sharpie letter. This letter is mostly self-explanatory and, while
brief, was very enjoyable. To set the stage, there are some days in a
research laboratory where there are minutes to hours of not much to do-
sometimes because the science is doing the work itself, sometimes
because there isn’t science to do, and sometimes because I feel like the
science doesn’t need to be done just yet. During some of these periods I
read webcomics, during some I read scientific literature, during most I
manage fantasy sports teams, but occasionally and rarely I get a bit
wound up and end up doing something zany. I refer to these occasions (as
of now) as my scientific fugues (no offense to the likely quite serious
psychological fugue states).
I wrote the following letter by hand rather hastily in one of my
scientific fugues upon reading the side of a Sharpie marker and finding
their corporate address on the web. The media of this piece was Sharpie
marker on lined notebook paper and envelope.
The letter was then posted and sent to Sharpie c/o Sanford Corporation,
Attn: Customer Affairs 2707 Butterfield Road, Oak Brook, IL 60523. No
return correspondence was ever received. And to silence any doubters, I
retain photocopies of the original (including the special gift) and
could scan/post them, but that would require getting to a scanner, which
would require more work than I imagine it to be worth for this
low-visibility blog post.
Oh, and I’ll be capitalizing like a normal human being until further notice.
blog over the last n months it would have consisted mostly of “Today I
did a lot of mundane daily activities, which were of interest only to
me, but let me tell you how important I think my life is.” Thus, I did
everyone a favor and didn’t blog.
However, last night I was sitting around doing some mundane daily
activities when I realized how entertaining I occasionally can be, and
decided that it is nearly criminal for me not to share my fantastic wit
and creativity with a select few acquaintances and some random “next
blog” walkers who, like me, have some time to kill.
I also realized that blogging is the perfect internet/creative outlet
for a person with the immense affinity for sloppy, run-on sentences that
I possess.
And so, the re-appearance of GENEBALL! which thus far has succeeded in
having little to do with genes and considerably less to do with balls.
Perhaps I’ll get there one day. Anyhow, as a warm-up for me and taste of
my wit for the opposite-of-masses, I offer my first (of three to this
point) Sharpie letter. This letter is mostly self-explanatory and, while
brief, was very enjoyable. To set the stage, there are some days in a
research laboratory where there are minutes to hours of not much to do-
sometimes because the science is doing the work itself, sometimes
because there isn’t science to do, and sometimes because I feel like the
science doesn’t need to be done just yet. During some of these periods I
read webcomics, during some I read scientific literature, during most I
manage fantasy sports teams, but occasionally and rarely I get a bit
wound up and end up doing something zany. I refer to these occasions (as
of now) as my scientific fugues (no offense to the likely quite serious
psychological fugue states).
I wrote the following letter by hand rather hastily in one of my
scientific fugues upon reading the side of a Sharpie marker and finding
their corporate address on the web. The media of this piece was Sharpie
marker on lined notebook paper and envelope.
September 22, 2006
Dear Sharpie Company,
I really enjoy your marker products, in fact so much so that I am using
one (Sharpie Extra Fine Point Permanent Marker) right now. Although I
guess I should not be, because it says it is not for letter writing
right here on the marker! It sure looks good though! I have enclosed a
‘Please throw out’ garbage tag for you. It communicates the message in
three languages!
Best wishes,
signature
P.S. The marker I’m using is series no. 35000.
The letter was then posted and sent to Sharpie c/o Sanford Corporation,
Attn: Customer Affairs 2707 Butterfield Road, Oak Brook, IL 60523. No
return correspondence was ever received. And to silence any doubters, I
retain photocopies of the original (including the special gift) and
could scan/post them, but that would require getting to a scanner, which
would require more work than I imagine it to be worth for this
low-visibility blog post.
Oh, and I’ll be capitalizing like a normal human being until further notice.
05 September 2007
about time
it has been much MORE than a month. and this is what i have to say: i'm still alive. and at 3:30 am after drinking numerous beers at my fantasy draft, i'm fully prepared to claim that i'm one of the funniest people alive. i think it's about time to unleash the beast upon the rest of humanity, which has been stuck with the drab comedic goings on of idiotic hacks for quite some time now...
20 June 2007
it's been over a month...
first, to the businessman: i hope you're aware that i have on more than one occasion tried to reach your fanciful blog by entering http://www.businessjive.com/ . please follow that link and see what happens. it's like phillip seymour hoffman's total weirdo character from 'happiness' has his own website. skeevy to the max.
second, well, i don't have much of a second. but i can reflect on this: from sunday thorugh friday i will have five athletic contests in six days. 12" softball sunday, 16" softball monday, basketball (don't know the circumfrence, my bad) tuesday, weds off, 16" thursday, 12" friday. it's all very fun and i get to spend enjoyable time running around bases and drinking beer with mostly quality people and all, but still.... i think this has officially gotten a little oot of hand.
third, i will make the point that i am now going to restart my computer, except when i resume it i will run the magnificent open source OS "linux". two points: a) i hate to be a computer snob, and in all reality it can be a pain in the ass because of a very steep learning curve, but the whole 'open source' thing linux has going on is amazing. i can tell you from my installation procedure that it's not for the complete computer idiot, but at the same time i feel like you should have a smidgeon of know-how if you're going to run the massively important and powerful machine that is today's greatest tool, the computer. and to that end, there are distinct benefits to using it. for instance, my ubuntu install came with text and spreadsheet software which the average non-pirating Windows user would have to pay in excess of $150 for. warrants a mention.
that was long, so we warrant a second paragraph. b) i will be running linux because it is the only system where i can do a portion of my work. subpoints i) yes, i'm doing work at quarter to 1 am ii) it's really interesting stuff wherein in a very limited sample size (2, about as limited as you get for these purposes) we may have some biological differences of significant consequence that i, right now, will be the first one to look for, assess, and investigate. the moral: what i'm bout to do has me in a pretty neat position. but i guess i'm the kind who gets a kick out of little things like being the first to make a discovery that a lot of people just wouldn't grasp or spend the time to care about. but trust me, you should care about it, it's really neat.
second, well, i don't have much of a second. but i can reflect on this: from sunday thorugh friday i will have five athletic contests in six days. 12" softball sunday, 16" softball monday, basketball (don't know the circumfrence, my bad) tuesday, weds off, 16" thursday, 12" friday. it's all very fun and i get to spend enjoyable time running around bases and drinking beer with mostly quality people and all, but still.... i think this has officially gotten a little oot of hand.
third, i will make the point that i am now going to restart my computer, except when i resume it i will run the magnificent open source OS "linux". two points: a) i hate to be a computer snob, and in all reality it can be a pain in the ass because of a very steep learning curve, but the whole 'open source' thing linux has going on is amazing. i can tell you from my installation procedure that it's not for the complete computer idiot, but at the same time i feel like you should have a smidgeon of know-how if you're going to run the massively important and powerful machine that is today's greatest tool, the computer. and to that end, there are distinct benefits to using it. for instance, my ubuntu install came with text and spreadsheet software which the average non-pirating Windows user would have to pay in excess of $150 for. warrants a mention.
that was long, so we warrant a second paragraph. b) i will be running linux because it is the only system where i can do a portion of my work. subpoints i) yes, i'm doing work at quarter to 1 am ii) it's really interesting stuff wherein in a very limited sample size (2, about as limited as you get for these purposes) we may have some biological differences of significant consequence that i, right now, will be the first one to look for, assess, and investigate. the moral: what i'm bout to do has me in a pretty neat position. but i guess i'm the kind who gets a kick out of little things like being the first to make a discovery that a lot of people just wouldn't grasp or spend the time to care about. but trust me, you should care about it, it's really neat.
13 May 2007
blog e: new template
i like this new template. the background is kind of like the microarrays i run. therefore i will continue to use it.
please let people know that i am making this blog. i feel like it is a very lonely pursuit at the moment.
please let people know that i am making this blog. i feel like it is a very lonely pursuit at the moment.
blog d: i'm considerably funny
have you seen
acceptable tv?
i think i can be funnier than their repetitive crap. for that matter, i know i'm much funnier than that. they get so close but fall so short. for instance, their law and order idea ended up being a complete disaster. and "the kosbees" is just a cosby impersonator saying 'theo rudy' over and over. there are much funnier and less cosbyisms to play on. (and for that matter family guy has already done it)
give me the subject, and i will give you funnier. SOMEONE JUST GIVE ME A CONTRACT. LET ME SPEND MY TIME CONCENTRATING ON THIS AND NOT SCIENCE. I CAN'T MAKE GOOD TV CUZ I'M TOO GODDAMN BUSY BEING A REAL WORKING PERSON WHO PLAYS A LOT OF SPORTS.
let's get together on this... let's be honest, Shockingly Random Drama was at least a start (is that online anywhere? what do i have to do to make it available? i want the world to see me without pants on)
also, please have the chicago Second City people take over saturday night live, because SNL sucks shit nowadays. but i'm not quite that good just yet.
acceptable tv?
i think i can be funnier than their repetitive crap. for that matter, i know i'm much funnier than that. they get so close but fall so short. for instance, their law and order idea ended up being a complete disaster. and "the kosbees" is just a cosby impersonator saying 'theo rudy' over and over. there are much funnier and less cosbyisms to play on. (and for that matter family guy has already done it)
give me the subject, and i will give you funnier. SOMEONE JUST GIVE ME A CONTRACT. LET ME SPEND MY TIME CONCENTRATING ON THIS AND NOT SCIENCE. I CAN'T MAKE GOOD TV CUZ I'M TOO GODDAMN BUSY BEING A REAL WORKING PERSON WHO PLAYS A LOT OF SPORTS.
let's get together on this... let's be honest, Shockingly Random Drama was at least a start (is that online anywhere? what do i have to do to make it available? i want the world to see me without pants on)
also, please have the chicago Second City people take over saturday night live, because SNL sucks shit nowadays. but i'm not quite that good just yet.
blog c: funny animals
echidnas lay eggs, but have hair. i want one.
every armadillo brood is 4 offspring, all genetically identical.
mastodons have been shown to be similar to mammals. and t. rex have been shown to be kind of similar to chickens. bottom line is that we know a little sonething about mastodons and t. rexes, which is very tentative but also incredibly cool.
platypi have five sex chromosomes, effectively males are X1Y1X2Y2X3Y3X4Y4X5Y5. humans and most other mammals are just plain XY.
28 weeks later just came out. i really enjoyed 28 days later. it was part of one really great day of movie-trekking around ames. on that day i also saw confidence, which was very clever, narc, which was as expected, the ring, which was good but too extreme, and road to perdition, which i was too worn out to enjoy.
every armadillo brood is 4 offspring, all genetically identical.
mastodons have been shown to be similar to mammals. and t. rex have been shown to be kind of similar to chickens. bottom line is that we know a little sonething about mastodons and t. rexes, which is very tentative but also incredibly cool.
platypi have five sex chromosomes, effectively males are X1Y1X2Y2X3Y3X4Y4X5Y5. humans and most other mammals are just plain XY.
28 weeks later just came out. i really enjoyed 28 days later. it was part of one really great day of movie-trekking around ames. on that day i also saw confidence, which was very clever, narc, which was as expected, the ring, which was good but too extreme, and road to perdition, which i was too worn out to enjoy.
blog b: recently
i have been spending a boatload of time on two things lately
1) work. i'm trying to get a new process to work. and i may have finally found someone who knows how to do it for me tonight, someone i've known for two years and just now found out part of what he does.
2) intramural-type league sports. i play basketball tuesday and thursday, softball friay, and even soccer on saturday. this is a game on over half the days of the week.
2b) drinking after or during sports. the wonderful thing about playing basketball midweek is that you end up drinking midweek AFTER playing. as i said, i play tuesday and thursday.
let's briefly discuss the teams i'm on. my tuesday basketball team stinks. we're 0-4. people have no idea what role they are playing. my thursday team, on the other hand, knows exactly what they're doing. we're 6-0. pretty amusing to play on one horrible team and one awful team. softball team is 2-0 currently after playing two shitty teams; soccer team is 3-0-1; we're pretty decent, but i feel like nothing really good. we hold our own but can be beat.
anyhow, the bottom line is this: i have come to realize that another reason to love sports is that its a great way to bring people together. though i think maybe we're too obsessed with sports, its a great connection between people. i can now count at least six accountants as friends, entirely because i started playing softball with them. i met another few people playing football. i meet new people every week at basketball. people have the best of intentions; they're competitors but also people.
1) work. i'm trying to get a new process to work. and i may have finally found someone who knows how to do it for me tonight, someone i've known for two years and just now found out part of what he does.
2) intramural-type league sports. i play basketball tuesday and thursday, softball friay, and even soccer on saturday. this is a game on over half the days of the week.
2b) drinking after or during sports. the wonderful thing about playing basketball midweek is that you end up drinking midweek AFTER playing. as i said, i play tuesday and thursday.
let's briefly discuss the teams i'm on. my tuesday basketball team stinks. we're 0-4. people have no idea what role they are playing. my thursday team, on the other hand, knows exactly what they're doing. we're 6-0. pretty amusing to play on one horrible team and one awful team. softball team is 2-0 currently after playing two shitty teams; soccer team is 3-0-1; we're pretty decent, but i feel like nothing really good. we hold our own but can be beat.
anyhow, the bottom line is this: i have come to realize that another reason to love sports is that its a great way to bring people together. though i think maybe we're too obsessed with sports, its a great connection between people. i can now count at least six accountants as friends, entirely because i started playing softball with them. i met another few people playing football. i meet new people every week at basketball. people have the best of intentions; they're competitors but also people.
blog a: two weeks ago
this is a pretty impressive story.
you may not understand how cool this tale is, but its really pretty impressive.
some people get this experience, but many never, EVER, will be in this position. i'm coming to realize this, and i'm coming to realize that this fact makes my current position really, really damn cool.
so a couple weeks ago there was The Big Seminar On Campus. the gist of it is this: guy discovers a basic biological mechanism. this mechanism has particular functional significance, on a small and a large scale level. on the small level, well, this is a molecule (RNA) which can catalyze (act on) itself. effectively, it doesn't need shit else.
on the larger scale, this THEORETICALLY could give an insight as to the evolutionary origin of organsims.
anyhow, in addition to this guy giving what ended up being a fairly elementary talk, there was an introdution given by Dr. James Watson. this is Dr. James Watson of Crick and Watson. for those of you who are unfamiliar, he is on of the original namesakes, one of the original "discoverers" of the structure of EVERYONE'S genetic material. his work isn't the end of the world, but for fuck's sake, it makes the beginning of it a hell of a lot bigger.
to put this in perspective, this is like the socrates of philosophy, the pete rose of hitting, the peter of kissing religous ass, in terms of genetics. second to reading and loving henry woo in Jurassic Park, this is my guy.
anyhow, James Watson was the sponsor of the day's lecture, and at the request of Fairly Eminent Speaker he was in attendance. so in anticipation of a pretty full talk, i showed up early. and before i knew it, Dr. James Watson walked right past my left shoulder.
that was pretty cool, for the record. imagine one of your top five idols walking right past you, no matter how old he/she may be. way neat.
but the great thing was that after that, he goes on to give the introduction for the lecture series.
and i can tell you this.
dr. james watson grew up at 7944 luella st. in chicago. he went do the university of chicago on a scholarship,. partly because his mom knew the administrator of the scholarship he was on. and after a ten minute talk, he said he wanted to give back to the university that gave him his start. i may not be stating this clearly to this point, so i will say it now: James Watson, the 70-something Nobel Prize winner, spent 15 minutes talking like my grandfather. for that matter, the day before he died, my grandfather told me four stories that were much more interesting and 4x more coherent than the one james watson told. and furthermore, my grandfather was one year older.
and so it comes to this: i had my brush with greatness. and it was interesting. it was impressive. but at the same time, i get the feeling that it was impressive because that is what it is made up to be. i have been in more inspirational presences , such as that of the teacher from my elementary school system who was a potential candidate for the position of christa mcauliffe. he was interesting, and inspirational, though perhaps not ultimately groundbreaking. at the same time, at least he's not dead now either. but the multiple failures of the space program are another subject.
a few points. 1. i was in the presence of an absolute luminary in my field. this is very, very neat. 2. this particular luminary, though i have heard fairly abbrasive things about him, was relatively pleasant. 3. while being pleasant, he also acted like a person who was just like a regular old person. it seems that perhaps when you get to the old point, its all just oldness.
which supports an idea of mine, one that i try to stick to. i may be on an advanced academic track. but that's just what my hypothetical and/or eventual future requires of me. i know a lof of people in other fields. teachers. accountants. machinists. realtors. management types. and some of them say 'wow what a great thing you're doing'. its not that great. its what i'm good at. its an understanding i've got. the people i know who do disparate things, i couldn't imagine how to start at what they do. but in the end, no matter what our strenghts and weaknesses, we're all people. we all have a common experience, and for fuck's sake that should be a big factor in tying us all together.
you may not understand how cool this tale is, but its really pretty impressive.
some people get this experience, but many never, EVER, will be in this position. i'm coming to realize this, and i'm coming to realize that this fact makes my current position really, really damn cool.
so a couple weeks ago there was The Big Seminar On Campus. the gist of it is this: guy discovers a basic biological mechanism. this mechanism has particular functional significance, on a small and a large scale level. on the small level, well, this is a molecule (RNA) which can catalyze (act on) itself. effectively, it doesn't need shit else.
on the larger scale, this THEORETICALLY could give an insight as to the evolutionary origin of organsims.
anyhow, in addition to this guy giving what ended up being a fairly elementary talk, there was an introdution given by Dr. James Watson. this is Dr. James Watson of Crick and Watson. for those of you who are unfamiliar, he is on of the original namesakes, one of the original "discoverers" of the structure of EVERYONE'S genetic material. his work isn't the end of the world, but for fuck's sake, it makes the beginning of it a hell of a lot bigger.
to put this in perspective, this is like the socrates of philosophy, the pete rose of hitting, the peter of kissing religous ass, in terms of genetics. second to reading and loving henry woo in Jurassic Park, this is my guy.
anyhow, James Watson was the sponsor of the day's lecture, and at the request of Fairly Eminent Speaker he was in attendance. so in anticipation of a pretty full talk, i showed up early. and before i knew it, Dr. James Watson walked right past my left shoulder.
that was pretty cool, for the record. imagine one of your top five idols walking right past you, no matter how old he/she may be. way neat.
but the great thing was that after that, he goes on to give the introduction for the lecture series.
and i can tell you this.
dr. james watson grew up at 7944 luella st. in chicago. he went do the university of chicago on a scholarship,. partly because his mom knew the administrator of the scholarship he was on. and after a ten minute talk, he said he wanted to give back to the university that gave him his start. i may not be stating this clearly to this point, so i will say it now: James Watson, the 70-something Nobel Prize winner, spent 15 minutes talking like my grandfather. for that matter, the day before he died, my grandfather told me four stories that were much more interesting and 4x more coherent than the one james watson told. and furthermore, my grandfather was one year older.
and so it comes to this: i had my brush with greatness. and it was interesting. it was impressive. but at the same time, i get the feeling that it was impressive because that is what it is made up to be. i have been in more inspirational presences , such as that of the teacher from my elementary school system who was a potential candidate for the position of christa mcauliffe. he was interesting, and inspirational, though perhaps not ultimately groundbreaking. at the same time, at least he's not dead now either. but the multiple failures of the space program are another subject.
a few points. 1. i was in the presence of an absolute luminary in my field. this is very, very neat. 2. this particular luminary, though i have heard fairly abbrasive things about him, was relatively pleasant. 3. while being pleasant, he also acted like a person who was just like a regular old person. it seems that perhaps when you get to the old point, its all just oldness.
which supports an idea of mine, one that i try to stick to. i may be on an advanced academic track. but that's just what my hypothetical and/or eventual future requires of me. i know a lof of people in other fields. teachers. accountants. machinists. realtors. management types. and some of them say 'wow what a great thing you're doing'. its not that great. its what i'm good at. its an understanding i've got. the people i know who do disparate things, i couldn't imagine how to start at what they do. but in the end, no matter what our strenghts and weaknesses, we're all people. we all have a common experience, and for fuck's sake that should be a big factor in tying us all together.
20 April 2007
4 statements about porcupines
1. they typically weigh approximately 5-16 kg
2. its genome is not completely sequenced insofar as i can gather
3. it has no direct relationship but shares probably 85% of its genes (or better) with the weird british/indian guy on abc world news.
4. they love grape juice and don't think anyone is to blame for someone unpredictably going really really really crazy, because although 85% of their biological being is the very same as humans their behavior is rather dissimilar and competely unpredictable and if you generalize the way one porcupine rolls to all the other porcupines that just ain't legit.
mark it, dude
(is more than one person reading this?)
*statements are not necessarily fact checked nor 100% factual, but generally amusing and sometimes meaning-bearing
2. its genome is not completely sequenced insofar as i can gather
3. it has no direct relationship but shares probably 85% of its genes (or better) with the weird british/indian guy on abc world news.
4. they love grape juice and don't think anyone is to blame for someone unpredictably going really really really crazy, because although 85% of their biological being is the very same as humans their behavior is rather dissimilar and competely unpredictable and if you generalize the way one porcupine rolls to all the other porcupines that just ain't legit.
mark it, dude
(is more than one person reading this?)
*statements are not necessarily fact checked nor 100% factual, but generally amusing and sometimes meaning-bearing
13 April 2007
for Mr. Business Guy, and myself a little bit
so.
i once upon a time registered a blogspot address. i think my original intention was to deliver some rant about the damn yankees, in the non-cultural sense; that is, i hate how overblown the yankees consistently are. and, Mr. Business Guy, the red sox are now in that territory as well. you spent 103 million on a 26 year old pitcher......
[punch line excluded]
[rebuttal to 'GREATEST GAME IN THE WORLD' also excluded for the time]
anyhow, as promised, i want to spend a brief moment to say that we've now spent 4 days talking about some weirdo 50-year old disconnected biggot who i didn't even know existed. and, for that matter, 95% of america didn't know who he was, until the third day after he made this asinine "nappy-headed hos" comment (and if you don't think i'm contemplating "don imus' hos" for every rec or fantasy league i'm involved in for the next six months you have something to learn about me) (which is why i guess i'm going to post these blogs, because for some wonky "Web 2.0" reason i want at least a few people to know what i think... one day the subject matter will be things more significant than just baseball and don imus, things i know more than the average homo sapien about, i promise)
(what exactly was Web 1.0 then? ebay and amazon.com and webzines like slate being the only place where also-rans got to publish an opinion? then i say why not to Web 2.0, because amen to craigslist and the independent man who knows a whole lot about whatever it is he chooses to talk about)
ok long diatribe. point being, few people cared who don imus was until monday (which was three days after he made the comment, by my reckoning) (note: i may have factually errors in occasion, feel free to point them out and if they really fuck my point of view on things maybe i'll change it)
i don't care much about his comment, though tonight i heard the first arguments all week about why this was so offensive, and they were very pertinent points about gender, as this whole 'hos' thing has pervaded society now, and not so much about the nappy-headed part. what i'm fascinated by is the amount of play this has gotten. let me lay this out: the main story in national news for nearly a week straight has been some pseudo-cultural figure making (shock and surprise) a sexist racist comment. let's be honest: we've been here before. i'm not going to cite a recent example because i'm very bad with contextual memory, but my mere disgust with this issue assures me that this has happened in larger fashoin relatively recently.
and the point is: somehow, this is THE NEWS OF THE WEEK.
because the labile media doesn't get (or make) any new cookie to feed on for the week.
so the lesson is this: on a slow news week, an antiquated jerk is headline news all week. you say to me "an antiquated jerk" and i say, ok, let's get a real news story. can't we discuss something worth everyone's while?
and that is what i have to say today. and now the tagline: mark it, dude.
was this the most disjointed post you've ever read? maybe in the top 10
did you enjoy it nonetheless, as you knew i was being honest and unedited? i hope so.
(that was the cheesey closer i came up with 15 minutes before i actually finished this post)
also, the question for this post is: does lack of punctuation annoy you, or should i keep it going as my thing?
still to come: i might discuss why it is that i'm now blogging, seeing as i haven't almost died recently.
other things you might eventually see: my opinions on sports; my input on the world of science (these are the things i pay most of my attention to); links to things i find amusing or personally satisfying; ill-advised pseudo-political or -philosophical meanderings; other things i am inspired to write about thanks to Mr. Business Guy's newfound creativity outlet or my own personal midweek drunkenness
i once upon a time registered a blogspot address. i think my original intention was to deliver some rant about the damn yankees, in the non-cultural sense; that is, i hate how overblown the yankees consistently are. and, Mr. Business Guy, the red sox are now in that territory as well. you spent 103 million on a 26 year old pitcher......
[punch line excluded]
[rebuttal to 'GREATEST GAME IN THE WORLD' also excluded for the time]
anyhow, as promised, i want to spend a brief moment to say that we've now spent 4 days talking about some weirdo 50-year old disconnected biggot who i didn't even know existed. and, for that matter, 95% of america didn't know who he was, until the third day after he made this asinine "nappy-headed hos" comment (and if you don't think i'm contemplating "don imus' hos" for every rec or fantasy league i'm involved in for the next six months you have something to learn about me) (which is why i guess i'm going to post these blogs, because for some wonky "Web 2.0" reason i want at least a few people to know what i think... one day the subject matter will be things more significant than just baseball and don imus, things i know more than the average homo sapien about, i promise)
(what exactly was Web 1.0 then? ebay and amazon.com and webzines like slate being the only place where also-rans got to publish an opinion? then i say why not to Web 2.0, because amen to craigslist and the independent man who knows a whole lot about whatever it is he chooses to talk about)
ok long diatribe. point being, few people cared who don imus was until monday (which was three days after he made the comment, by my reckoning) (note: i may have factually errors in occasion, feel free to point them out and if they really fuck my point of view on things maybe i'll change it)
i don't care much about his comment, though tonight i heard the first arguments all week about why this was so offensive, and they were very pertinent points about gender, as this whole 'hos' thing has pervaded society now, and not so much about the nappy-headed part. what i'm fascinated by is the amount of play this has gotten. let me lay this out: the main story in national news for nearly a week straight has been some pseudo-cultural figure making (shock and surprise) a sexist racist comment. let's be honest: we've been here before. i'm not going to cite a recent example because i'm very bad with contextual memory, but my mere disgust with this issue assures me that this has happened in larger fashoin relatively recently.
and the point is: somehow, this is THE NEWS OF THE WEEK.
because the labile media doesn't get (or make) any new cookie to feed on for the week.
so the lesson is this: on a slow news week, an antiquated jerk is headline news all week. you say to me "an antiquated jerk" and i say, ok, let's get a real news story. can't we discuss something worth everyone's while?
and that is what i have to say today. and now the tagline: mark it, dude.
was this the most disjointed post you've ever read? maybe in the top 10
did you enjoy it nonetheless, as you knew i was being honest and unedited? i hope so.
(that was the cheesey closer i came up with 15 minutes before i actually finished this post)
also, the question for this post is: does lack of punctuation annoy you, or should i keep it going as my thing?
still to come: i might discuss why it is that i'm now blogging, seeing as i haven't almost died recently.
other things you might eventually see: my opinions on sports; my input on the world of science (these are the things i pay most of my attention to); links to things i find amusing or personally satisfying; ill-advised pseudo-political or -philosophical meanderings; other things i am inspired to write about thanks to Mr. Business Guy's newfound creativity outlet or my own personal midweek drunkenness
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